Endings and Beginings

How do I start with this? Giving people context is part of making myself understood. I gave up on that. All that matters is now. Currently I’m dieting the powerful and joyful Dandelion. I’m just in the middle of my dieta (Spanish word for diet) and I’m already making the arrangements to meet the lovely Oak tree in June.

Not in my wildest dreams I could have imagined that my life would turn this way. I keep telling myself: this is how I want to live my life and embrace all aspects of it. I had to learn how to live, because nobody taught me that. Except myself.

These past few months, I’ve detached myself from the groups I’ve been part of it, consciously or not and I discovered a lot of things about myself, my shadow and my gifts. I grieved my old selves, I cried for my new self and I have hope and faith for my future versions.

When Ianara was born, the motto was “you are the medicine” and I still stand by that. And while searching for the balanced dosage, life becomes a rollercoaster, I discovered that I am not alone and I have wise friends to talk to and walk with. The friendship as I envisioned and how I felt it was reciprocated by plants, animals, crystals, insects, trees, rivers, mountains, birds and elementals.

I remembered who I was as my childhood memories were unlocked, piece by piece.

I was never less than or above than.

I was never missing anything.

I was never abandoned.

I was never neglected.

I was never not seen.

I am whole and I was back then, my awareness, the witness in me has always been there.

What I did have to learn and I’m continuing to learn is how to transmute my emotions and how to choose what I’m feeling, from an empowered place.

I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, because each one of us is a special unique flavored tea brew of old, current and new parts. Imagine tiny little teacups having fun at a tea party. We taste different teas to see which is for us and which isn’t. It’s trial by error, though I’ve concluded that there are no mistakes. And even if they are, I just learn to do things different next time I’m at a tea party. Wink!

I talk to plants, and they talk back to me. Sometimes, I find myself in tears of joy, wondering, don’t we all hear them whisper?The magical places I’ve been going as a child, they existed and now I get to access them once again from a place of reverence, respect and much, much love. The Muchiest Love of all.

Last night I brewed Dandelion’s roots in a small ceremony for the first time.

I call him Taraxito Curandero. One day I might record my song to him. He has such a lovely energy. He is that brother, with deep roots, who pops up unexpectedly and reminds you of joy and playfulness, though is going to make sure you acknowledge the results of your decisions and that you take responsibility for them.

When I was a kid, I used to make earrings, bracelets and many jewelries from its stem. I would collect the yellow flowers with my grandmother and make a delicious syrup or honey out of them. I would blow his whiskers and make wishes trusting that they will come to reality. What an act of perfect surrender towards the Great Spirit. I forgot the spells I put myself under and now he is helping me unravel them.

In service to the journey,

Alexandra, Guardian of Ianara