Weavers of Truth

There is intention behind every action, whether it is spoken or not, energy never lies. Your gut will always tell you the truth. That’s why, I call upon the Weavers of Truth.

Weavers of Truth know that Truth liberates and though we may not always like it, it comes hand in hand with self-awareness. In my opinion there is a big difference between awareness and self-awareness.

I open the sacred space, inviting our awareness and self-awareness to cleanse our perception and be guided in our journey by the Great Spirit, Mapacho and our Higher Selves.

With permission from the Oak Spirit, I begin.

We are born knowing the Truth, yet, the world’s programs are getting to us, firstly through our parents and in most of the cases, doubt settles in, insecurity comes in and we decide to move forward with other people’s truth, as we are “little” and “inexperienced” and those around us are “grown-ups” and “experienced”. This is not always true. Some of us get to live our childhood later in life, because there was a plan for us.

In my journey, I masked my truth, I buried it, I negated it, I ignored it. Yet, what happens is that Truth is like a seed and will always grow up. We are witnessing our Truth unfolding in our lives, full of wonder like children.

This awareness, we were born with it. It is the same since our first breath.

If I close my eyes and travel in my childhood years, I remember it, I see it. I was aware of what was happening in the household. The tears my grandmother would cry at night, the pain my mother would feel. The lack of money and the courage, faith and prayers that kept them moving on as they were raising me. I am also aware how I felt each time I would pick up a book and travel to different worlds, or how my imagination would birth new dances, games and songs. I was aware of myself. I was also aware when I would do something wrong. I still remember the first time I stole from my auntie an eraser with a duck drawing on it, because I so wanted it and did not have the courage to ask for it. I told my mom and then I gave it back.

The simple act of setting the record straight brought me liberation and from that moment on I knew what it means to steal, to benefit from things that are not yours and I never did it again. Stealing is not limited to material things, it is also about attention, affection, things that we crave. I learned a valuable lesson then, as I made a promise to myself: not on my watch.

Maybe this is the reason why I had to go through a lot of things to feel worthy of the blessings that come while working with plants, as I also understood the responsibility that comes with it. And while I’m more serious when it comes to my code of conduct, I also sprinkle joy and playfulness when I’m with my dear Plant Allies.

I had awareness of my surroundings and I had self-awareness of how I felt and the consequences of my actions. That’s why, as growing up, I would beat myself up, playing the victim card, taking on this mask and not wanting to recognize that I was aware of what I was getting myself into.

What happened was that I would dive headfirst and then deal with what would unfold. You know that person you’ve just met, and you don’t quite like them, but you move forward anyway and you reach a point when you know that this is not getting anywhere good, and so it is up to you to end it? Hello! This was me, the impatient one. I’m not proud on how I ended some of my friendships or romantic relationships, and looking back, I’m grateful because now, I know better, and I can do better than then. That’s how you get experience and that’s how you transform knowledge into wisdom.

Circling back to childhood, while we know the truth and we can read energy from the womb, as our mother’s emotional state is what we learn first about, we cannot pinpoint it exactly. This reminds of a story that Mooji loves to talk about the Emperor’s New Clothes and the kid who said loud and clear: the emperor is naked, and everybody started laughing. As adults kept playing a delusional game, the child said it as it was. And a child telling the truth is not always received well by adults who think they know it better or worse, they know it all. “You don’t know anything.” “Zip it.” “Who asked for your opinion?”

And while everybody runs around with their own Truth, the self-awareness is related to your own Truth. One of my gifts that I’ve been blessed with, and I kept on learning about is shifting my perspective. Think of Metraton’s cube, out in the space and moving from one point to another to see something else. Think of looking at clouds and finding different forms and stories withing the same mental picture. It took me some time to find go in my own heart and discover my own truth, after being embarking the Fool’s journey and trying to understand other’s truths.

Self-awareness is for me the capacity of seeing the effect I have in my own environment, how I influence it or how I can transmute it, if I want to. As an example, my mother is also a teller of truth, and while she did not have the chance to speak it with kindness, she would use sarcasm, irony and tough words for it, and I would get so triggered and I would feel my blood boiling in me. She is one of my dearest mirrors, because she showed me how my internal talk was with me. How I would tell my truth to me, how I would speak to me. I felt powerless within my family until my late 20s. Until I learned to self-regulate my emotions, my mental state and offered different perspectives. I would ask questions that would make people around me reflect.  While the gentleness of the Deer spirit makes herself present, the spirit of the Rose reminds me of boundaries. When people give away their power (they never do, they just play pretend) and while they become “addicted” to kindness, they will search ways of receiving while not making changes. Let me give you another example and how I got to understand my victim mentality.

Years ago, in my 20s, I started a job in a corporation, and I landed a junior position under a very strong, well-prepared woman. She was fierce, driven and a perfectionist. She did not have patience with me. Some days, we would work in such a high vibe and all my reports would be impeccable, or if I did a mistake, she would kindly show me what I did wrong and help me correct it. Other days, I was barely hanging on, crying in the bathroom as she almost called me stupid and mocked me. At a subconscious level she was my mother, the one I had to walk on eggshells around. We would trigger each other, and we would be in this vicious cycle, where I would feel out of place and she would feel overwhelmed with the responsibility I put on her, to be my “mother at work”. I would complain at home to my partner, to his parents, to my friends, to everybody just to receive validation and compassion, to feel that I’m innocent in this whole story. Though my intentions were pure at heart, I did not know myself enough to establish boundaries with her. While I was playing Bambi, she was the Stag. My lack of self-empowerment was triggering her. Awareness and self-awareness.

I can’t take responsibility for her actions and how she talked to me, but I could take responsibility for my actions and who I wanted to be. This was a tough love learning curve for both of us. As I discovered this is not what I want to do in life, she also discovered that she didn’t like her job and she chose herself, and the path of being a small businesswoman. While I’m grateful to her and the experience, we both got into different positions that allowed us to express ourselves authentically. Awareness and self-awareness.

After a couple of years, I ended up building a team from zero in a different company. I decided I would do things differently, in alignment with my core and I would grow my patience and pour my understanding in my team, supporting them and giving them a good start. The Wheel of Fortune has turned, and I took my ex-manager’s place in the game of triggers. This time, I understood her in more depth. I loved working with people who were solution oriented and that would be creative in their way of delivering what they had to, I loved working with independent people capable of making their own decisions based on judgement. And guess what? I had only newbies and some of them were not doing their job because they were not in the right place. Just as I was some years ago.

It’s funny how the Universe puts you in these situations and you get a taste of your own medicine. Awareness and self-awareness. I was aware of the situation, and I was self-aware of how I can influence it. Nonetheless, this was another precious lesson on how I like to build things: with the intention to thrive, develop on long term.

Truth liberates us to the length we are willing to be honest with ourselves. Truth for me is the highest form of self-love. That’s why I love it when children tell it as it is, in a simple and effective manner. We must learn to put our ego’s aside and be honest with ourselves and between us. Relationships that are formed in Truth and Honesty, Respect and Self-Love are the ones that will thrive, develop on long term. While playing the victim for a while gets us attention, in time, we must face our masks and our shadows and welcome them at the table of life.

Shadows have their own purpose. Knowing your shadow is a blessing to your life and others, because this is how you become self-aware. Receiving feedback from a friend that has courage to tell you his/her truth is a blessing, because it is a cheat-code for self-improvement and reflection. Discernment is a skill that we learn as we face each other. As wise ones say “take everything with a grain of salt” but don’t jump into dismissing another opinion, unless you’re doing your shadow work and you really know the game it is played.

Without shadow work, we assign people roles that they did not ask for and we end up in roles that we’ve not asked for in others game. Each of us plays a game. The question is: what game are you playing with yourself and how is it impacting your well being and relationships?

I choose to play the Game of Truth. That’s why, I love Weavers of Truth. They like to play the same game and the ball is between awareness and self-awareness.

Thank you, Great Spirit for your infinite love!

Thank you, Mapacho, the bridge between worlds!

Thank you for your openness, and I thank myself just as Snoop Dog reminded us of doing from time to time.

The Sacred Space is now Closed.

In service to the journey,

Alexandra, Guardian of Ianara